366 Days of Me #day3

I dare myself to write about anything this year for such a healing. I have been spending all the year I could count on doubting myself, wondering whether it is a good life or not, or trying to figure out what will I do for my life. I have been being so mean to myself and I know it is hard to forgive. I promise myself not to do it anymore since I have people to take care of. Not because I have to, it is because I need to. So, I wish the dare would work. Wish I could keep my promise to myself.

As I write this, Daddy has been being hospitalized for four days. It was a heartbreaking moment, the day he went to hospital by ambulance (but every day he had to go to hospital this way is always a heartbreaking). It was around six pm. My baby brother knocked my door rapidly and he only said my name and dad's like it could explained everything that happened. I ran down stair only to see Mom held his hand and repeated her prayer over and over while he's laying. My another baby brother was beside her and crying. My baby sister was on her phone trying to get the ambulance. Me? I sat beside Mom and tried not to cry because I knew she needed me that way.

That day was a picture, a capture of thing that's worth million things. And just like every day I have spent around hospital, I would never ever forget it.