366 Days of Me #day60

I have been waiting for this day for years, turn around I don't like it. Because I don't get what I want although it is as simple as spending the whole day with myself only. Because I don't get something for myself, like trying food I never eat before (either because I don't want to try or it is just too much to afford), doing my nails (so I don't have to bite them every time I get nervous), or anything else which is illegal for me to do everyday but today. Illegal means anything that would be a waste of time and money but worth for February 29th.

BUT there's always good in something (and it makes me happy). I go home at the right time! My baby brother is home and we all do pizza time at night while watching TV. I go to cinema with my crush, have my favorite crispy chicken as my lunch, and take selfies with him. I receive greeting from dearest friends of mine. Meaningful greeting, no copy-paste, and straight to the point because they know me for real. I get cake from my head/mentor/sister/you name it. I put star on her message because she says something I never thought I would capable to hear (like is this really for me?!).

So, yeah, happy birthday, Azmi Lathief! Sorry I put you in trouble for times. Sorry I wake you up at night only to wonder and to cry. Sorry I write "you are the champion of fool" on your wall. Sorry I send you nowhere but here. Sorry I can't give you what you want for now. Sorry I always let you down and fail you. Sorry I make you should try harder. Sorry for all the pain. Sorry for every time you want to undo things, erase your memories, or even go straight and fast just like Alaska does. I would patiently wait for the next February 29th while trying my best to give you everything. Everything you wish. Everything you ever wish.

366 Days of Me #day41

There is no something special about my first day except everything is new and I have to get used to it. I woke up earlier to the radio, the announcer told me life is beautiful and I have to thank God every morning for this bless. I got heater for bath, it was really helpful for me to become completely awake. I had my breakfast earlier, sky was dark but the food was ready. It wasn't egg or nugget or else (like I used to have at home. I used to have it that way only because it is easier to do in the morning) but rice, I also had tea. I kissed Aunty on cheek (like I used to do to Mom every time I go somewhere) then I said see you as I went by. The road was new for me, so was the morning view. It kept me wondering what day it is today and what I did to live this day today. Till I realized the building I have to walk in was completely new and it consisted of people I have never met before.

New friends always scare me. What if they don't like me? What if they don't like the way I dress up, the way I talk, the way I do things, or even the way I think of something? What if I can't fit in? What if I don't understand what they are talking about? What if I'm not good enough to become their friend? BUT what if I am?